A trust that is given and a trust that is learned.
Trust is an essential characteristic of relationship satisfaction. A couple that has a high level of trust will experience a high degree of intimacy. Each person has a learned capacity to trust. This capacity serves as a cornerstone of their relationships.
For most people their capacity to trust was formed out of their family of origin and through intimate relationships as adults. A relationship requires both people to engage in a learning process of trust. A baseline of trust is a good beginning for a relationship, but a couple needs to establish a history of trust between them.
Trust is learned through honoring healthy boundaries and shared values but also through failing to meet each other’s expectations. An absence of failures does not necessarily mean that trust is strong in a relationship. However, repenting of failures and making a commitment to honor boundaries and values will form a trusting relationship.
A relationship will challenge each person to expand their capacity to be trusting and trustworthy. Any healthy relationship will have established boundaries. These boundaries are not about policing each other but creating an environment that is safe, steady and accountable.
The Trust Report consists of ten statements from a wide range of topics such as spiritual life, conflict resolution, finances, friendship and relationship. The report will give a side by side comparison of the man and woman’s self-view and their views of each other.
The report categorizes the responses of the couple into three areas of engagement: Agreement (strength), Improvement Needed, and Disagreement.
- Demographic questions create a personalized inventory and worksheets based upon your relationship status. The statements will read: boy/girlfriend for dating couples, fiancé for engaged couples and spouse for married couples.
You will receive a personalized report, growth plan and worksheets.
- Strength worksheets help couples to celebrate their Agreement (strengths) in multiple categories of engagement.
- Improvement/Disagreement worksheets use Scriptures, Principles, Discussion Questions and Practical Applications that allows a couple to discuss areas trust that have been broken or bruised.
The Bible teaches “If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone” (especially your spouse (emphasis mine) (Romans 12:2).
A couple may think or approach things differently, but trust is the goal. Couples who are willing to read the Scriptures and pray for godly wisdom will still have disagreements and value things differently but healthy boundaries will keep them from breaking trust that is foundational to a healthy and vibrant relationship.
Recommended Book:
The Journey to Oneness: Enriching, Renewing and Reconciling Marriage Relationships (by Ron Hitchcock).
