In my last blog, No Such Thing as Secrets to Great Marriages, I said that marriage relationships have been researched extensively using qualitative and quantitative methods of obtaining data to identify trends among couples in specific age groups, seasons of life and cultural backgrounds. I believe that each relationship is unique and should be celebrated as such.

Quantitative data is useful in identifying characteristics within relationships that are common among couples who report high levels of couple satisfaction. The data collected from The Life in Motion Relationships Inventory (LIMRI) reveals eleven characteristics among couples who value mutuality in their relationships.

Identify the characteristics of mutuality that are active in your relationship. Be sure to celebrate and express gratitude to your spouse for valuing mutuality in your relationship.

I am able to talk with my spouse about things that we disagree on.

I am quick to forgive my spouse.

I do not alienate my spouse when we have a conflict.

I am respectful of my spouse’s ideas.

I treat my spouse as a coequal.

I resolve conflicts with my spouse quickly.

I listen to my spouse’s point of view when we disagree.

I am quick to identify the problem(s) that lead to conflict with my spouse.

I am consistent with how I resolve conflicts with my spouse.

I treat my spouse as an equal partner.

I share the leadership of our family equally with my spouse.